The portion of any retirement account earned before the marriage is separate property and stays with the original owner. Twenty years of contributions can make this calculation complicated. Both spouses need to know what was in each account before the marriage began.

If your divorce is uncontested and you and your spouse agree on how to split retirement accounts, the QDRO can be prepared as part of the process. Clarity Divorce focuses on the required court documents, so if a QDRO is needed, you will want to work with a qualified QDRO preparer for that specific document.

Social Security benefits after a long marriage

If your marriage lasted at least 10 years, you may be eligible for Social Security benefits based on your former spouse's earnings record. This applies even if your spouse remarries. You must be at least 62 years old and currently unmarried to claim, and the benefit cannot exceed 50% of your former spouse's full retirement benefit.

This is not part of the divorce process itself. You apply directly through Social Security after the divorce is final. But it is worth knowing, especially if you had significantly lower earnings during the marriage.

Health insurance changes

One of the practical surprises in a long marriage divorce is health insurance. If you are on your spouse's employer plan, you lose coverage when the divorce is final. Federal law (COBRA) lets you continue that coverage for up to 36 months, but at your own expense, which can be significant.

The open enrollment window through the Health Insurance Marketplace starts when you lose coverage. You have 60 days from the loss of coverage to enroll in a new plan. Do not miss that window.

The emotional weight is different

Ending a 20-year marriage involves a kind of grief that shorter marriages often do not. Your adult identity was built partly inside this relationship. Your social network, your routines, your sense of what the future looked like. All of that is changing at once.

That grief is real and deserves time. It is also not a reason to stay in a marriage that is no longer working. These two things can both be true.

Research on what is sometimes called gray divorce (divorces later in life, often after long marriages) shows that many people report improved wellbeing in the years following the divorce, particularly when they were the spouse who initiated it. The transition is hard. What is on the other side of it can be genuinely good.

Practical steps before you file

Before filing, document your financial picture completely. Gather statements for all bank accounts, retirement accounts, investment accounts, and any debts. Know what is in your name, what is in your spouse's name, and what is joint.

If you have been out of the workforce, think about what your immediate financial needs will be after the divorce. Spousal maintenance is based on need and the other spouse's ability to pay, not automatically granted.

If you and your spouse are in agreement on how to handle property, support, and any remaining family obligations, an uncontested divorce is likely available to you. Arizona's paperwork overview explains what is required for an uncontested case.

For a complete look at what the process actually costs, the Arizona divorce cost guide breaks down filing fees, common expenses, and where the money actually goes.

It is never too late to start over

Ending a long marriage takes courage. So does building what comes next.

When you are ready to look at what the process actually involves, Clarity Divorce helps Arizona residents prepare all required court documents for a flat fee of $199. Court filing fees of around $300 to $400 are separate. If you want to see how the process works before committing, the free demo walks you through it with no pressure.

For more on the financial side of a long marriage divorce, see Will I Have to Pay Alimony? How Spousal Support Works in Arizona and Will I Lose My 401(k) or Retirement in an Arizona Divorce?.

Whatever the next chapter looks like, it belongs to you.

Educational guidance only — not legal advice.